My Golden Slumber

There I was standing on this neon sign lit corner in New York. It was late but there were still cars and people everywhere. I heard this sound rushing toward me. The sound vaguely sounded like a fire engine, but one with a New York accent. It was nearing just as a beat up sedan came screeching up to a halted stop in front of me. Two cops came flying out of the car piercing my ears with the shrill of their slide whisltes. I covered my ears and lowered my head and closed my eyes. Through my hands, covering my ears, I could hear the muffled sounds of choas and yelling. I opened my eyes to see the two cops trying to put Woody Allen, and some other guy, in their red pajama's in the back of the car. I yelled out, "why isn't he laughing he's supposed to be laughing, cause' it's crummy!". Alas, he was not laughing in fact Woody Allen was crying. He looked up at me and reached out his closed hand and said, "get this to..", as he was saying this I had already reached out my hand. Before he could tell me who to get it to he had already done it. He had dropped three or four dancing cockroaches in my hand. I screamed and and began to shake about like I was being electricuted, with my eyes shut again. Suddenly, I heard waves, and laughter. I stopped moving and opened my eyes to see a bunch of my customers from the bar laughing and drinking and playing beach volleyball on this breathtaking beach. I had my back to the ocean and was face to face with Fancypants, this is a boy who often frequents my bar to attempt to court me but I can't stop laughing at his fancy pants long enough to do anything about it.

I started to relax and giggle and was trying to explain to Fancypants that I thought I was with Woody Allen and that's why I was acting so weird. He just turned to carp me to everyone else. Then, I hadthis overwhelming urge to turn and look at the ocean. OH SHIT A TSUNAMI, and damn it's a big one. "RUN!" I scream but they all think I'm a weirdo now cause' I thought I was talking with Woody Allen when indeed I was talking to Fancypants. "Screw them", I mumbled to myself and took off running back toward the city. By running I mean my feet were movin' like molasses and my knees were so close to the ground that I kept having to push myself up off the pavement. I rounded a corner with a huge salmon colored cement parking structure on it. At this point there are three dogs running with me. Real dogs. There was a tall building attached to it and I pushed open the door and ran straight to the elevator. I wasn't the only one with idea at this point there were four of us in there. One of which I was aparently in love with however I have neer seen him before in my life. I thought this was strange but we kept on going.
Henry Mancini was softly playing in the elevator as we all casually stood around biting our nails, talking about the bar on the roof of the building, exchanging funny little looks, and shiftingour weight from one leg to the other. The doors opened it was mayhem. Women and men plunging to their deaths down the open center of the building. I looked over the edge just in time to see the tsunami coming. It's filthy brown water engulfed the base of the building, yet the whole time the sky above was the most beautiful blue with big white cumulus clouds just sitting around. The city looked like a big dirty lake from my stance at the top of the building.

Oh no I left Lou outside.

I started bawling, "Lou is dead, oh Lou... Lou" then I grabbed a passing lady by her collar, "maybe he climbed the tree, he's so smart he just has to be safe".
I was turning to head back to the elevator when someone yanked me to the ground by the back of my collar.
"You're late!" the man was screaming in my face all drunk with magarita salt all over his chin.

He must've been my boss cause' he tossed me behind a bar and yelled again, "I want a martini dirty with two olives and so does everyone else!!". I turned my head to see everyone else. The bar starting stretching longer and longer before my eyes, it was a mile long and silver. There were atleast eight people deep down the whole goddamn thing. I started mixing like I have never mixed before. Bottles were flying and I suddenly had 6 sets of arms at the same time shaking martini's. It just didn't seem right so I looked down to survey where these new arms had sprouted from and it turned out it was just my fellow bartenders standing behind me sticking their arms under my arms so the boss thought I had more arms and I wouldn't lose my job.

I was done, everyone now had their martini's. I knew the boss would think I was some sort of miracle bartender now.
"What the hell, I wanted olives!" boss yelling.
"I know martini's for everyone, dirty two olives sir!" I said with an obvious attitude cause' there was nooo way I screwed up.
He held out his martini and what do you know there's no olives. Nope insted there was sauerkraut.

I'm running again through my molasses, I'm near my house, where's Lou. All the houses around mine have been wiped out by the tsunami. He just had to make though I knew it.
"Lou, pal.. come out, where are you... LOU", just then out of the corner of my eye I saw Lou limp out from under some debris.
He was seemingly fine except the wet fur and the one leg that was now four times the length and width of the other three. I scooped him up and fell indianstyle to the ground.
"Oh Lou we'll get youto the hospital, I love you Lou... I do". I kissed his forehead over and over again.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

While making coffee this morning with Lou I realized something. Sauerkraut in martini's hmmm, yup I'm gonna make a million. Also, I don't think I should eat so many greasy spicy foods before I fall asleep.