I do write, I just don't finish writing. I have draft after draft after draft that I would like to put in words, but the time of life never allows. I wish I was one of those people that could work a job that they don't give a shit about and come home and write about something, anything. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. I work, and I work... and it seems no one in my immediate surrounding has any clue what I'm doing. Nor do they care to see beyond the tip of their nose to see or listen to what I'm up to. So, that being said I have come to this...
I am not being taken advantage of.
I am not, not being heard.
I have not completely lost myself.
I am not lazy.
I am all of the above.
Have you ever worked someplace that sucked the soul right outta' you and yet you still felt some strange loyalty? I talked to Big Sue today and he said that him, my sis, and me all suffer from this same complex. Hence why we all stay in crappy jobs trying to convince everyone they aren't. I supposedly own my own bar. I deffinately went into partnership with money people who are lying to me, stealing from me, and telling me to fire all of the great staff I hired. I'm tired, and I wish more than anything I could invest all my time and energy into my home and fixing my relationship. So that's what I try doing but it's hard to see me for who I am when I'm being what I'm finagled into believing what they think I am. I can say what I think I am over and over and over again, but they see a little money machine.
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