Up for a party my deer?

I should have know it was a bad idea when I was leaving the loft at 8 in the morning, carrying a plastic deer light (you know one of those decorative one's you find in peoples lawns... or my living room) to head to the 'Yee Rustic Inn' for bloody Marys and hot wings.

I had been up since the prior morning and had spent thirteen hours working at the bar, no food, little booze, and not a lick of sense left in me old noggin'. As soon as I walked in my front door, already daylight, my friend phoned me and told me to come down to the loft party she's at downtown(near skid row to be exact). Without hesitation, due to lack of brain cells, I hopped in a green cab and headed to where the action was. I pulled up to the loft, Ali and a tall dark stranger awaited out front. They led me inside to where, I was told, the party was. They led me up a dark staircase where the sounds of sniffing and murmed talk were overshawdowed by the loud music. As I rounded the corner into the bright daylit room I saw 'THE PARTY'. On the couch straight ahead was a 40 something year old balding man with a paisley shirt, beret laying half on his shoulder and half on his head(with scraggly grey hair sticking out all over the lower half of his head), khakis tight rolled at the cuff, loafers no socks. He was passed out and mouth breathing all crackly and loud. To the right was the rest of 'THE PARTY' standing at the little bar. There were four more 40 something year old artsy types speaking to each other in their best dulled uninterested voices, wanting to sound curious and intellegent, eyes leering around the room with their heads down peeking out from under their brows as if at any moment their eyes may stumble upon their next brilliant art masterpiece. They were all speaking with their hands, slowly up and down in this wave of an arm farm. The sight of 'THE PARTY' made me laugh out loud, and in turn made the goers fall silent. I tried to play it off like I to was full of curious wisdom and art... it worked, which made me laugh out loud again only this time they joined me in laughing, not quite sure if they missed something but they didn't want to appear stupid.

"Give Winky a line" my friend Ali shouted out to the goers.
"Ah no, thanks.. really I don't need any." I said waving my hands in front of myself.
"Come on, just a line... Ya' just like two lines.... Just a bump" the goers all droned at me while grabbing at their little bags of powder.

They pushed and shoved and put a mirror in my hands. I picked up the straw that lay next to the razor blade and snowy mountain, pointed the straw by the long skinny curvy line and inhaled through my nose. The goers and Ali were all so busy talking, with their dry little slugs clicking away in their mouths desperately seeking liquid, that they didn't even notice that the line I did was an imaginary line. I just put the straw down next to the line and snorted the whole length of the line inhaling nothing. I lay the mirror in front of the guy who owned the place and said, "Your turn". Which he replied, "Oh thank you.", and snorted away. I immediately went and found a comfortable chair and had a seat.

Next thing I knew I was jolted awake on the couch by the fact that I started to pee a little. I came to my senses, shit I'm still at 'THE PARTY', and crap I about wet my pants... but I didn't(fully). So I got up and went to the bathroom. I washed my face a little, finished peeing, and pulled myself together. Man I was recharged after my little nap, heck it's my turn to start drinking. I had been pouring drinks all day and night for others and damn if it wasn't my turn.

I came back out to 'THE PARTY' and, "Hey Winky is the best bartender ever, I bet she could make something out of what you've got left", Ali said through her grinding jaw and sniffles. I wanted to make myself a drink but they all really looked like they could use something very wet and very stiff. So I walked behind the bar and surveyed all it had to offer... Vermouth, Tequilla, Sugar Water, Lemon Juice, Cranberry juice, and Limes, there was only one option with this one... Cranberry Margaritas. I mixed in my usual furry and presto, everyone now had a chance to come down via a Wink-tastic cocktail. I turned to the owner and commented on how I liked his plastic deer light and, "can I have it" figuring it never hurts to ask. He said no, then I told him of my extensive collection in my living room and how great it would be for the deer to come home to his people. He couldn't refuse, I unplugged the old girl and rounded up Ali, went and woke Braun, and told them all it was time for mommy's bloody mary breakfast.

We parked out front of Yee Rustic Inn, finally my turn had arrived. We sat at the first table by the door ordered three bloody mary's. Ali started yelling to the bartender, I quickly muffled her which caused her to bark, "I hate your guts.", I laughed and sipped my Mary. Then my friend George walked by trying to leave, but I wouldn't stand for it. So we all moved to a bigger booth in the back, he call Noah his fiance upon my demand and told her to come out as well. Once there were three, now there were five and 40 hotwings and two pitchers of beer. I went out to smoke and when I came in a miniature doggy came running up to me, so I picked up the lil' booger and sat at my table.

"Did you see who was here?" Ali said pointing to the booth across from us.

Sure enough there was the guy I had gunned for about a month and a half ago and had recently given up due to his lack of interest in calling me, but still just last week got drunk and had to step out to the back seat of his car with him. Never again I say I'm more than just boobs, but I guess I keep forgetting. All this was too much for me at that moment so I didn't bother saying hello for atleast 15 minutes even though he was all of two feet away from me. Next thing I know Ali is missing and Noah and I can't find her anywhere. We run out front to see her in her truck trying to get her key in the ignition all the whilst prank calling people on her cell phone.

"Give us your key now", we said.
"I hate your guts", she replied.

We took her keys anyway, as the back seat boy walked up.

"Bye Ali give me a call later," back seat said.
"I hate you", she said.

Then he toussled my hair with his hand like I was some freakin' dog. "Bye Wink.".

We rounded up Braun and George and the three of us who were still making sense decided it was best if we got Ali home, and all of us to bed. It was three in the afternoon now, and really did we need to continue? No.

George and Noah started to drive away while Ali was standing out front of the Rustic, arms out like Jesus on the cross, singing,"Yee Rustic did me in, it did it again, oh Yee Rustic.". We all laughed, it was ridiculous.

Finally I was home, I gathered up my little deer light and walked straight into my house and fell asleep with my newest posession in my arms. I awoke at nine p.m. cuddling old deery, and hungry. First I checked my messages, and found that Ali and Braun didn't go home instead they went to the bar I run and harrased my bartender. I only knew this from the 12 prank calls she delivered to my inbox. I cleaned up and went to see my bud Jodes at work. I knew she'd be done bartending soon and I could easily persuade her to go eat with me. Just as I suspected she was all game, and she was all drunk... which I didn't realize at first but when we arrived at the restaurant she ordered us two pina colada's and immediately spilled them and the whole table in my lap. Thankfully the mofia that runs that place likes me, so they just laughed and, "send our sweetie some more drinks... on me", the boss said in his 'I own the whole world voice'.

The night went on... but I just can't anymore.

Too much typey type for old Wink.

....to be continued

in 2008.